Dear "Your Application" slash Career Builder,
1. Do you have to have experience clamping for this role, or will a sincere desire to learn about clamping suffice?
2. Though I don't have much experience clamping, I do have experience lamping. This is very similar to clamping in that the two activities have all but 1 letter in common.
3. In case you're wondering what "lamping" is, according to one person I know, it just means hanging out, similar to how a lamp may just hang out on the table. However, I have been unable to confirm this with external sources.
4. Actually, I'm wondering what "clamping" is. Is it applying boots to cars that owe parking tickets?
5. Do you have to be able to input your own email address correctly to get this job? Since I don't know what clamping is, I'm not sure. I am unable to do so, which is why a knocked up, mixed up, fed up, pent-up, grown-up lady is responding to this email instead of the experienced clamper you were expecting.
Casey [Williams] Fitzsimmons
How common is it for members of the public to try to undo my clamping work? I imagine this would lead to high rates of job dissatisfaction.