Jan 2, 2015

Cassandra's Hair Appointment

Caitie Greenline greenlinecovington@gmail.com

9:43 AM (1 hour ago)

to me
Hey Cassandra! 
We just left you a voicemail, but we also wanted to let you know that we have you on Linsey's book for today and she actually came down with the flu and will not be able to come in today. We want to reschedule your appointment with Linsey or with another stylist-whatever you are most comfortable with. Just let us know! So sorry, thanks for understanding!
We look forward to hearing back from you!

Casey Fitzsimmons caseywilliams

10:49 AM (1 minute ago)

to Caitie
Will the real casey williams please stand up
please stand up 
please stand up
will the real casey williams please stand up
'cause she's definitely not at this email address.

caseywilliams@gmail.com is mine! And I live in Boston and go by Casey, not Cassandra. I do need a haircut, though. Thanks for the reminder!

I hope Linsey feels better, and that Cassandra doesn't show up... and that her NY resolution is to more clearly write down her email address.


casey williams fitzsimmons

Nov 18, 2014

Alondra Banos - Good luck quitting smoking

Dear Alondra,

Did you order a Vaporizer Pen thingy and pay for it using PayPal? If so, you created your PayPal account under the email caseywilliams@gmail.com, which is silly because that is not your email. Please update your account.

I now have your home address - 14291 Newt Hamner Rd, northport, AL 35475-3421. And I get all of your PayPal alerts. You haven't had correct payment information for a few weeks - which you would have known sooner had you actually put in YOUR email address instead of mine.

Anyway - please update it. I don't know how you got confused. Maybe it's because your brain is clouded with cigarettes. Your perfect complexion will quickly be ruined if you keep up with the smoking.


The Real Casey Williams Who Keeps Saying She Will Switch Emails But Hasn't.

Nov 4, 2014

Why real stones, Ix/Ux? [Updated]

Uli Pflanz U.Pflanz@gmx.net

5:41 AM

to me
Hi Casey,

James is still waiting to hear back from TBN. I have the strong feeling that we will still be there carrying the real stones up...


Sent from my iPhone

Uli Pflanz u.pflanz@gmx.net

6:43 AM

to me
We heard back from TBN and the stones could be delivered any time till 9pm. But the earlier, the better as we might still be there and Luke wants to see the stones. Let me know how it goes. Texting is also very good: 07704 25 66 42


Sent from my iPad

Casey Fitzsimmons caseywilliams

to Ulime
Hi Ix/Ux,

I am so confused.

Why do we need real stones and not paper mache stones? Or fiberglass? Anything lighter than true granite. 

Unless these are pebbles! I could handle pebbles. Or even a small amount of gravel.

Also, do you go by Ix or Ux? Or are there two of you? That would be good news, because that means there would be at least three of us carrying the stones of undetermined size. This Luke sounds like he is not going to help.

Let me know on the stone size front, and what name you prefer.

Casey [Williams] Fitzsimmons

PS. Texting is definitely a better option, because you're more likely to reach the Casey Williams who is actually willing to carry the real stones.

Uli Pflanz

9:42 AM (32 minutes ago)
to me
Hello Casey, 

I am so sorry, the other Casey had given me the wrong email. You are welcome to help carrying stones if you feel like you need some workout... It would be in London though with very nice people... but otherwise, I am sorry for confusing you. 

All the best, 

Ulrike Pflanz
Jnr Production Manager

M. GB (+44) #######
Email: U.Pflanz@gmx.net

Oct 10, 2014

CaseyWilliams83@gmail.com thinks I'm nasty!

Instagram no-reply@mail.instagram.com

4:51 PM 

to me
Welcome to Instagram
Confirm your email address to start capturing and sharing your moments with the world.
Confirm your email address

Casey Fitzsimmons caseywilliams at gmail

5:00 PM

to CaseyWilliams83@gmail.com
Sigh. ONE day perhaps you will learn to correctly write your email address. ONE DAY.
Unless this CaseyWilliams83@gmail is different than the one who tried to create an instagram account. In that case, I'm sorry I'm now spamming you.


7:06 PM 
to me
What the fuck?! 

Who the fuck are you to be blasting out random accusatory emails? Update your email address Fitzshithead if it's such a problem. Do something better with your life, you nasty b*tch [edited]

Casey Fitzsimmons caseywilliams at gmail

Attachments10:03 PM (11 hours ago)
to CaseyWilliams83@gmail.com
Wow, you called it! I nasty. So nasty that I'm taking back the Sorry from my first email. Oh man, take THAT! I am so awful!

Here's a puppy photo to make you feel better about my nastiness. No one can hate a puppy.

Sep 23, 2014

5751 La Vista Ct #B - Rental - No Thanks but Maybe?

Ryder Meehan rydermeehan@gmail.com

11:27 PM

to me
Hello and thanks for stopping by the apartment earlier, it really is a great location and space.

Please complete the online application here: http://rtd4.com/177445 (click "Apply Online")

By submitting your application you also agree to a basic background and credit check.

Also, please let me know if you have a pet ($200 pet deposit required) and type - dog/cat and approximate weight.

Thank you very much and let me know if you have any questions.


Casey Fitzsimmons caseywilliams>

to Ryder
Hello and I don't recall seeing an apartment yesterday.

I haven't completed the application.

I don't agree to a basic background and credit check.

I do have a pet; $200 seems reasonable. He is a yellow mutt, 60 lbs. 

You're welcome and my question is: Are you sure you have the right Casey Williams?



PS. Does #B mean Basement? Nice and cool in the summers, but unless it's the bargain of a century, I wouldn't rent a true basement unit. My bedroom was in a basement growing up (had full windows), but it was mildewy and spidery. Ew!

PPS. Upon Googling the address, I may be reconsidering my refusal. That place looks awesome. AND it's just $675 a month!!! Deal of a century! Though I would need at least 1 more, ideally 2 more, bedrooms.

Ryder Meehan

to me
Hahahaha, oh my - you don't sound like you are interested much at all.  Fortunately #B is not in the basement - although #A is in the attic.

Sep 7, 2014

Casey k Williams, Lansing, MI - I don't want your twin bed

auto-confirm@amazon.com auto-confirm@amazon.com

8:23 PM (1 hour ago)
to me
Amazon.comYour Recommendations
 |  Your Account  |  Amazon.com

Order Confirmation

Order #108-1496326-0937834 

Hello casey williams,

Thank you for shopping with us. We’ll send a confirmation once your item has shipped. Your order details are indicated below. The payment details of your transaction can be found on the order invoice. If you would like to view the status of your order or make any changes to it, please visit Your Orders on Amazon.com.
Your estimated delivery date is:
Thursday, September 11, 2014 -
Monday, September 15, 2014
Your shipping speed:
Standard Shipping
Your Orders
Your order will be sent to:
casey williams
LANSING, MI 48906-3716
United States

Order Details

Order #108-1496326-0937834
Placed on Sunday, September 7, 2014

Twin / Full Slatless Flexing Hook-On Bed Rail Set with One 2-Leg Cross Support 
Sold by Homeplace Group
Condition: New
Item Subtotal:$97.67
Shipping & Handling:$23.89
Total Before Tax:$121.56
Order Total:$121.56

Casey Fitzsimmons caseywilliams@gmail.com

10:06 PM (0 minutes ago)
to caseykwilliams
You might want to check what email address you're sending your shit to. I graduated from a twin bed nearly 11 years ago, and that was about 3 years later than it should have been. My kid is only 8 months, so he doesn't need this yet either.

or maybe it's an entirely different casey k williams, in which case, I am sorry. I really need to change my email address... it's just hard to undo 10 years with the same one! I just can't take all of these stupid misdirected emails. And yes, there are WAY MORE Casey Williamses than you think out there. WAY more. 


a former casey williams

PS. $121 seems like a lot for a metal frame. Couldn't you Craig's list that shit? However I like that you don't have to have the stupid wheels on the end.

Jun 18, 2014

Total Identity Theft

Jake XXXXXX jakexxxxxxx__@gmail.com

to me

Casey Fitzsimmons caseywilliams

to Jakeme
Tip: double check the email address to which you send ALL of your personal information. This Casey Williams has no idea who you are. Fortunately I'm not a douche bag, so I wouldn't even know how to do illegal things with this information if I wanted to.

Good luck sorting out your affairs, Jake!


to me
Oh gosh how foolish of me... Thanks for being awesome. Best wishes

I was awesome.. until I posted this here. But I don't think you could steal his identity thanks to the stuff I blacked out. The only more personal/dangerous email I've gotten is stuff related to mortgages.