Dec 11, 2013

SodaStream or CO2 machine?

Joe Balbas <JBalbas@nuco2.com>
11:50 AM

to me

Joe Balbas | Territory Sales Manager - Knoxville | jbalbas@nuco2.com
NuCO2 ® | www.nuco2.com  | 24/7 Customer Service 800-472-2855

From: Joe Balbas
Sent: Wednesday, December 11, 2013 10:35 AM
To: 'kearnewilliams@gmail.com'
Subject: NuCo2

Hi Casey, my name is Joe Balbas, Territory Sales Manager with NuCo2. I oversee the area where you guys are putting in a new restaurant soon in Sylva, NC. I work closely with your Sysco Rep, Glen Golcher who gave me your email address. If you have not already chosen a provider for your CO2 needs, I hope that you will consider using us. What is your time frame for opening?

Joe Balbas | Territory Sales Manager - Knoxville | jbalbas@nuco2.com
NuCO2 ® | www.nuco2.com  | 24/7 Customer Service 800-472-2855

Casey Fitzsimmons <caseywilliams>
1:16 PM

to Joe
Hi Joe
 
I don't have any CO2 needs, though I am thinking about investing in a SodaStream. My husband and i probably drink 2-3 cans of soda water a day, especially now that I'm pregnant and we both drink less alcohol. There's just something about those bubbles that makes it more delicious than plain water! Do you think they're worth the investment and constant cartridge refill?

Do you also deal in Helium? I heard a few weeks ago that there was a helium shortage, so demand must be higher. I personally don't need any helium right now (but think the shortage is interesting), especially since we're about to have a kid. #1 thing choked on - latex balloons. Yup. Babies are kind of like dogs - they learn by putting things in their mouths.

Ha, I'm going to be a great parent - I compare my kid to the dog! Then again, I do treat the dog pretty well... and love him a lot...

Anyway - let me know on the SodaStream opinion.

Best,

Casey [Williams] Fitzsimmons
Boston, MA

PS. As you may have guessed, I don't run a restaurant... though my husband will be opening a franchise next year post-initial-baby. Hm, maybe this mis-directed email was a happy coincidence!






Dec 3, 2013

No Hockey, But LAX is OK? [[Updated]]

Douglas James <douglas.c.james@att.net>
9:52 PM

to katyh_1234ellenjrogersklahsracmelissa.hartri.tflorettathomas.veltzfuller1451steve.shumategarrettfan3cdhowardjillbeauchamp8.jim.reanytomshelley850smeyers6pflanwebnperrymanegallagher21don_mindymeganbrowdyrisharpanscoopersteveandkathysrsaleebybrowe
Middle School Parents

We need your help. You must register your players through our website. Your players are registered and paid with their respective teams. However, we need your US Lacrosse #'s in order for our league insurance to be valid. We are simply asking that you follow the link sent to you from 314lacrosse.com, create an account on our site, provide us a US Lacrosse #, sign an electronic waiver, and checkout. The entire process takes no more than 2 minutes and is important for the everyone to continue in this league. We will not charge you for this. The website already recognizes you as a MS participant since you have come to the site through this link. You do not need to select a program. You simply follow the BLUE buttons on the top right of the page and will ultimately land on a checkout page that says you paid $0.00.

Let us reiterate: We MUST collect US Lacrosse #'s in order to get adequate insurance coverage. We have talked with US Lacrosse and Bollinger about this and the rules are quite strict.

We do not wish to hold any players out of competition, but we will be forced to do so if we do not get this information from the families.

Thanks,
314Lacrosse"

Casey Fitzsimmons <caseywilliams is a stupidly common name at gmail>

to Douglas
Can pregnant women play lacrosse? Or yellow dogs? Or 31 year old men?

Hmm.. given that this is a middle school league, I'm guessing none of the above. However I do think you should make an exception for me because I played street hockey until I got knocked up. My husband is probably a little old/big to play, and the dog would just chase everyone around. 

So what do you think?

Sincerely,

Casey Fitzsimmons
Boston, MA

These ladies don't look pregnant, but Google Image Search says that they're relevant to the search "pregnant woman playing lacrosse" so it must be true.

This is definitely a dog, at least thinking about playing lacrosse. No wait, that looks like hockey. Google, you cray cray.


Douglas James
9:10 PM

to me
Casey,
 
I'm confident there is a "pregnant women's league" somewhere in Boston.  Heck, East Coast--Lacrosse Hotbed--gotta be!!
I have family in Marblehead and ask them to look around for you!!
 
Sorry about the email, obviously we have an incorrect address in the system.
 
Doug
 
P.S. Does the yellow dog retrieve ducks?  If so, we may be able to use him.

Casey Fitzsimmons <caseywilliams>


to Douglas
The yellow dog DOES retrieve things from water --- he loves to fetch logs (firewood size), will tolerate sticks, and has a hatred for ducks, so I think he's trainable as a hunting dog. 

Given my OB/GYN won't let me play street hockey, I'm scared to ask her about LAX! Or perhaps I'll go rogue and start my own pregnant womens' no-contact league. 

Good luck getting your middle school league off the ground. First Step: Getting parents to correctly write down their email addresses.

Sincerely

Casey "Thinking about finally switching to my married name email address" (Williams) Fitzsimmons


Nov 7, 2013

Jewelry? Por Moi?

Andrew Moquin <andrew.moquin@andrewsjewelers.com>
5:27 PM

to me
Casey,
Attached are the drawings for your new ring, please let Gina know if there are any questions.  Once I get your approval I will proceed with the prototyping.
Andy MoquinAndrews Jewelers



Casey Fitzsimmons <casey willia m s at gmail>


to Andrew
Hi Andrew,

Wow. I had no idea I was getting a new ring!!!!! This is a little different that I might have designed - I do like modern designs like this, but prefer different color stones. Also I love art deco style, which I know is so cliche but what can I say, I'm a woman of the times.

Or maybe this is a gift for me from some unknown benefactor? 'Cause I don't think my husband would go to you for jewelry - no offense meant, but he has "his jeweler" in downtown Boston to whom he's loyal.

My guess is that it's for another Casey Williams, to give to a lucky lady. Or maybe for herself. But it is almost that magical time of year... CHRISTMAS! Most popular time of year for engagements!

Either way, good luck tracking down the right Casey Williams. Please let him/her know that they need to do a better job writing down their email address. And ask them if they're supposed to take a DOD Cyber Awareness Class - I got an email yesterday about that.

Sincerely

Casey (Williams) Fitzsimmons
Boston, MA


Nov 6, 2013

DOD Cyber Awareness, I'm non-ironically here for you

ATCTS (UNCLASSIFIED


LAST NAME, FIRST CTR USARMY HRC (US) <name.here@mail.mil>
2:12 PM

to me
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE

Please see if you can access the following links:

ATCTS: https://atc.us.army.mil/iastar/index.php   (select login on the left
hand column)

On this same homepage directly above the login selection is a link to the
DOD Cyber Awareness Challenge that will need to be completed.

Let me know if you have any issues. I can be reached via email or in the
office at the number listed below.

NAME



NAME
ACAP IT Helpdesk
ACAP HRC Fort Knox

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE
Casey Fitzsimmons <casey w il l iams @gmail.com>
4:05 PM 
to NAME
There's nothing quite like getting a misdirected email about the Department of Defense's Cyber Awareness Challenge. Irony is pretty thick here, and not in the "isn't it ironic" Alanis Morissette way - in the truly ironic way.

Needless to say, I am very unclassified. Though I did used to work at the Vaccine Research Center at the National Institutes of Health on an Ebola vaccine. So that's cool, but it wasn't classified. 

I'm thinking you probably want to email this to the right Casey Williams, even though this email communication is in fact unclassified, the first step s/he may want to take is to learn his/her own email address.

Good luck with the Challenge!

Best,

Casey [Williams] Fitzsimmons



Oct 9, 2013

A surprise? Por moi?

Chuck Keller
4:09 PM (1 hour ago)

to bffockebooyea2112meCaseyemilyfsmartKenKentMatt
You are invited to a Surprise Party. (The surprise will be evident.)
October 19th
Sis' in Newport
8:00ish - 12:00
We will have some light hors d'oeuvres and cake
Two bands - Barney and the Howlers and Josh McIntosh (former student)

 You can purchase dinners and bar.

Hope you can make it.


Casey Fitzsimmons <caseywilliams at gmail.com>
5:35 PM (0 minutes ag

to Chuckbffockebooyea2112CaseyemilyfsmartKenKentMatt
I LOVE SURPRISES!!!!!!! And am so happy that you planned this for me! I am TOTALLY surprised that you went to this effort since I haven't met any of you previously.

Here are food items that I enjoy and to keep in mind when the hors d'oeuvres (nice work spelling that correctly, btw):
 - Eggplant
 - Cheese (pasteurized, after all I'm knocked up)
 - Anything with sauce - I love sauces

And for dessert - chocolate anything... or lemon meringue pie. The baby does seem to like chocolate - my beverage of choice the last few weeks has been hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows.

The bands sound great too! As long as it's not hard metal. 

Thanks so much for planning, guys!!

xo
Casey (Williams) Fitzsimmons
Boston, MA

PS. I think you have the wrong Casey Williams. PUnless you really do mean to surprise me, in which case this totally worked! 
PPS. It looks like you tried to email Tcaseywilliams@gmail but clearly something is awry in your Outlook.


Sep 23, 2013

Clamping vs. Lamping


Your Application <CBApplyOnline@site.careerbuilder.com>
5:13 PM

to me
CBApplyOnline@site.careerbuilder.com
Your application to Clamp Operator | See more jobs like this
Your Application


Congratulations!

You applied to Clamp Operator at Horizon Staffing in US-GA-Savannah.

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Posted: 9/5/2013

Casey Fitzsimmons <caseywilliams - gmail>
6:15 PM

to Your Application
Dear "Your Application" slash Career Builder,

After applying, I have some questions about this position, and some comments. 

1. Do you have to have experience clamping for this role, or will a sincere desire to learn about clamping suffice?

2. Though I don't have much experience clamping, I do have experience lamping. This is very similar to clamping in that the two activities have all but 1 letter in common.

3. In case you're wondering what "lamping" is, according to one person I know, it just means hanging out, similar to how a lamp may just hang out on the table. However, I have been unable to confirm this with external sources. 

4. Actually, I'm wondering what "clamping" is. Is it applying boots to cars that owe parking tickets?

5. Do you have to be able to input your own email address correctly to get this job? Since I don't know what clamping is, I'm not sure. I am unable to do so, which is why a knocked up, mixed up, fed up, pent-up, grown-up lady is responding to this email instead of the experienced clamper you were expecting.

Sincerely

Casey [Williams] Fitzsimmons

How common is it for members of the public to try to undo my clamping work? I imagine this would lead to high rates of job dissatisfaction. 



Jul 19, 2013

Yo, you went to Bam Bam?

jesshall <jesshall@uab.edu>
9:19 PM (11 hours ago)
to me

20130718_195521_001.3gp
19823K    
Casey Fitzsimmons casey williams at gmail
8:44 AM (0 minutes ago)
to jesshall

wtf, jess hall?

who are you, anyway?

is UAB even a real school?

oh man, it IS! it's University of Alabama!  Bam bam. That's what I call it. Being from Boston and having gone to "ZooMASS", I like nicknames. My summer parents had a dog named Cody whom (who?) I called Coco, if only because my Uncle hated it. :P Coco loved it, though. RIP, Coco.

Ok, fine, being from Boston has nothing to do with the fact that I like stupid nicknames. I just wanted to work "Boston" in there so you could figure out that you don't know me. 

And no, I'm not going to download this .3gp file because it will probably destroy my computer with a "bam bam bam." yeah, I went there.

hugs!

casey [williams] fitsimmons
boston, ma

 
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Dog with a blog:  http://mustardthedog.tumblr.com






Jun 25, 2013

Why of Course I'd Like to Work at a Tequila Bar!

scott _ <scott@mexbaltimore.com>



to Gabrielme
Gabe,

I am pleased to let you know that Casey Williams has accepted the job at MEX Tequila Bar and will be my new active KM.  We are excited to have him on board and to help us move forward of making MEX the best it can be. 

Thanks, 

Scott Carson 
General Manager
MEX Tequila Bar
Baltimore, MD

Gabriel Robinson <gabriel@ecioperations.com>



to scottme
congrats Casey, look forward to seeing what you can do

Casey Fitzsimmons <caseywilliams at gmail>


to Gabrielscott
Gabe, Scott,

OMG Tequila and I do not get along at all! One time in Spain, I took a shot of tequila and then uncontrollably spat it out into my friend's face. Whoops. Another time here in Boston, I took a shot of very nice tequila and then immediately threw up. The last time I did a tequila shot, I was in Honduras, and it actually went over ok. I think because it was a small shot and because of all the peer pressure from the Navy dudes at the BBQ.

Ok lie - one other time recently I "did" a shot of tequila with my sister at Gentleman Jim's in Alfred, NY --- only it was just a shot of water because I truly hate tequila. I guess this doesn't really count.

So I don't know why I would have accepted this job. Actually I'm pretty sure I didn't since I live in Boston and work in marketing. There are a lot of Casey Williamses out there who mis-write their email addresses, and lots of other people who mis-transcribe them. I'm betting this is in the latter category. 

Hopefully the Casey Williams you hired doesn't have the same aversion to tequila that I do. Though I do love Mexican food...

I hope s/he works out!

Sincerely,

Casey "shot shot shot... like a lemon drop" Williams Fitzsimmons


Gabriel Robinson
to mescott
2 minutes ago
May be the best email of the day, and considering what we do for a living that says a lot. 

Thank you, Casey Williams Fitzsimmons.....whoever you are

Scott....learn to type

Casey Fitzsimmons <caseywilliams at gmail>


to Gabrielscott

Glad you see the humor in it... :-)
Next time I'm in Baltimore, I'll stop by. But not for tequila.